Jube is my first true love, but I can tell you about my first true crush.
In high school, I was the "Queen Nerd" (according to my brothers). I was in marching band and In the Know, pep band and all of the school musicals. I had a great time in high school, actually! In my senior year, I was the drum major of the marching band, and one of the trumpet players caught my eye. His name was Randi*, and for some reason, I really liked him. We went out almost every Friday between the end of school and the beginning of the football game, and we went on a couple of dates.
I created handmade cards for him, colored with crayons. I was grounded for the first and only time of my life for spending too long at his house after one of our Saturdays out. For Christmas, he gave me a snow globe that played "Memories" from Cats.
We never kissed or held hands.
The summer between my senior year and starting college, I wrote him a letter explaining that I had once had a crush on him. He could have had a girlfriend, but he blew it! I used the word "dearth" in the letter, and in a moment of passive aggression I included a vocabulary flashcard with the word's definition on it. I am still very ashamed that I actually mailed him the letter.
The summer after his senior year, a boy in my high school died in a car accident. He was supposed to be Randi's roommate in college afterward. I hadn't thought of either of those boys since I had mailed the letter (I met Jube during that first year at college).
Since then, I have thought of Randi once or twice. I didn't know much about him then, and I know less now. But maybe that's the way of all of our first crushes.
*The name has been changed, since I use pseudonyms on the blog. But believe me, this was a teenage boy whose name ended in "i."