Cultural Misunderstandings

Jube works with immigrant youth, helping them integrate to life in the US. Part of his job is helping them find internships and jobs, which includes talking to their supervisors and things like that. The other day, one of his students' supervisors contacted him with a concern.

"It's kind of embarrassing, and I don't know how to bring it up with him..." she said.

"What's wrong? I can talk to him about it," said Jube.

"Well... you see... he doesn't wear deodorant. And in the summer, well... you understand."

"Oh, yes," he answered. "In some cultures, deodorant just isn't as important as it is in the US."

"What, do you think he's from France?" she said.

...She was serious. Poor Jube.

O-BA-MA!

As you may know, I have a job. I like it a lot, so I don't talk about it on my blog. This is one of the reasons why I haven't posted very much during the past year. Although it's reduced my blog posting frequency, today's episode should make up for all that. For you see, today my job allowed me to attend an Obama healthcare rally! Let's just say that I work at U to the M to the D. And guess where the president came to drum up support for his policies?

Here! And I was there to document it for you (and also to hear the president).

The information about the rally mentioned that it would start at 11:00am; that doors would open at 9:00am; and that people could start lining up at 5:00am. I figured I'd just arrive at my usual time and if I missed it, I'd head over to the office. As I approached the basketball arena, I saw that the line didn't seem too long. But then, a security guard stopped me. "Are you looking for the VIP line, or the regular line?" he asked.

"The regular line...?"

"It starts over there." He pointed across the parking lot. "Cross the footbridge, turn west, and you'll see all the people waiting."

So I set off.
I found this line. I was a bit surprised, considering that the rally venue was now almost directly behind me and over a footbridge, but... well... I didn't have much choice, did I? Besides, this was my chance to visit some of the campus I'd heard about but had never seen.
Oh! Here's a familiar landmark! I'd seen this stadium before, but never from this side.
Or from this close...
We continued on past the recreation center, and then finally got to the arena. I don't have any pictures of it because the security was really intense. As you might be able to tell from the pictures, it was a gray and rainy morning, so many attendees had brought umbrellas. We weren't allowed to bring them in with us, so there were hundreds of umbrellas decorating the low walls of the parking garage. I'd been warned about the "airport-like" security, so I had come prepared, bringing no purse and stuffing my pockets with my wallet, keys, phone, and camera. I also brought a library book because I figured I'd need it during my hours of waiting. Little did I know that it would cause a stir! Several women were turned away because of their purses, and the trashcans were full of lighters and bottle openers. The policeman almost confiscated my book, but I managed to convince him that I wasn't going to use it as a projectile (it was a library book, for goodness sake! I wouldn't risk my credit there).

Once in the arena, we waited in line for another half an hour before being allowed to take our seats. For about two hours after that, the marching band entertained us while we waited for Obama to arrive. I felt bad for the student who introduced him - we had been waiting so long for the president that when the announcer said, "Ladies and gentlemen, Rachel S*!" the crowd actually let out a disappointed groan before beginning to applaud. And then... the band played "Hail to the Chief" and out came Barack!

It really was almost like being at a rock concert. Cameras were flashing, people were screaming... I'm surprised no one threw underpants! Here is my video documentation of the whole thing:



There was one protester who screamed something about babies being killed (I couldn't really hear his exact terminology), but he soon left. When I got back to work, my colleagues had all watched his speech from the whitehouse.gov streaming video site, but they still wanted to know how it felt to be there. Later I found out that there were about 15,000 people in attendance. All in all, a good way to spend my personal leave!

*I'm sorry, I forget her name. It sounded like "See."

Last Weekend

Last weekend the weather was wonderful. Jube and I biked to Bethesda, where we ate dinner and French pastries. There is an amazing patisserie in Bethesda called Cacao. I have to admit that while I was in France, I never understood why macarons were so beloved... I've read countless blog posts about macarons; about where to get the best ones, which flavors are the tastiest; but mostly just raving about their existence. Cacao has made me reconsider my indifference. The macarons there are amazing! After dinner, we went straight for the macarons, and it started pouring rain. The picture above was taken while I tried to sip my espresso without getting too wet.

The next day we went to Baltimore. Jube was happy to see the humongous guitar topping the Hard Rock Cafe in the Inner Harbor:

And then on our way to Fell's Point we saw a monument dedicated to Polish soldiers:

I'm a Convert!*

Yesterday Jube and I went out with this guy who works for the Federal Communications Commission (suddenly, I realize how living in DC affects the people we meet...). His big project right now revolves around the "DTV Transition," which will take place in about two weeks (don't know what I'm talking about? You must not have suffered through snowy reception for two years like Jube and I have).

I've been complaining for about a year about the DTV transition. I didn't want to spend the money to get a converter box for my TV; I didn't think it was fair that we should be penalized for not buying cable; I was happy enough with my fuzzy reception. But two weeks ago Jube and I bought our DTV converter, and I saw the light! It's wonderful! When my father came to visit, he thought we'd signed up for cable.

I even feel more informed about the world since we receive four PBS channels. I now understand what stock options, hedge funds, and the financial crisis are all about - and The Bachelor has never looked as good! (Actually, Jube and I think he looks sort of like a young George W. Bush.) So if you've got basic cable right now, I'm telling you: quit it and buy a converter box! You'll thank me later!



*Pun absolutely intended. Every time I say this to someone, I have to restrain myself from saying, "Get it? Get it???"

Chinatown

The other day Jube and I decided to be tourists. Of course we have seen most of the monuments and a good number of museums in DC, but we certainly haven't seen all of them. We wanted to go to the International Spy Museum, but it turns out that it costs something like $14 to go in. We nixed that idea and instead chose to wander around Chinatown, where the museum is located.

Now, DC's Chinatown is not exactly authentic. I've been to New York's Chinatown, and was impressed by the atmosphere. In DC, the "atmosphere" comes from a local ordinance which requires all of the shops to have their names written in Chinese as well as English. That means that Anne Taylor Loft, Starbucks, and Urban Outfitters (all very typical Chinese corporations, as I'm sure you'll agree) have an extra sign.

While there is a distinct lack of Chinese culture, DC's Chinatown is still fun to visit. There is streetside shopping, a movie theater, the National Portrait Gallery and the International Spy Museum.


And a really cool looking Chinese arch.


And on the day we went, a group of people learning how to ride Segways.

Next time we go, we're eating at one of the restaurants. Yee haw!



Oh, and yes... pardon the 2 month absence... oops!

Pas Prudent!

When Jube and I were still living in Montpellier, we used our bikes to travel everywhere. We used the bus lanes instead of the sidewalks, and once an old lady yelled at us as we were crossing her path, "Pas prudent! Pas prudent!"* We now say this whenever someone tells us that we should be more careful, or that something we did was stupid... for example, one of my new colleagues told me that she had never used the public bus in her entire life. "You just couldn't use the bus in Hampton Roads," she said, "it was too dangerous!" Jube and I used the HR Public Transit system often before we bought our car, and I'm sure we would have looked at each other and hissed, "Pas prudent!" at this announcement.

Anyway, we had a pas prudent moment in July, when I'd picked him up at the airport and was driving him back to Norfolk. We took Route 17 to 95 to 64, and it took about an hour on each of these roads. As we were entering 95 from 17, we noticed a blond surfer-looking dude at the side of the road with a sign that said "Virginia Beach." We chuckled for a moment that he would never find a ride down there, and then we both said, "Why don't we give him a ride?"

I've never hitchhiked or picked up a hitchhiker, but Jube has done both in France. So we pulled over and two blondies crammed themselves into the back of our little car. It turned out that they were Russians, in the US on summer J-1 (working holiday) visas, and had traveled all around the US by Greyhound. They were finally out of money and had resorted to hitchhiking.

They were very well mannered young men from Siberia, and my only problem with them was that they kept talking. I had been ready for a nap, but unfortunately I let slip that I knew quite a bit about immigration processes, and they kept asking me for information about their visas.

By the time we arrived in Norfolk, we didn't want to drive all the way to Virginia Beach, so we dropped them off downtown outside of the library. They gave us a nu-metal CD (I had unwisely told them that Jube liked heavy metal) and their gratitude.

Whenever I tell anyone about our hitchhiking adventure, they all say the same thing. "I can't believe you picked up hitchhikers! That's so dangerous!"

Jube and I catch each other's eye, and we both think the same thing. "Pas prudent!"



*Not careful!

Soupir

You may be wondering where I've been for the past month or so. You may not have been wondering. But if you were, wonder no longer! For I will tell you exactly where I have been and what I've been doing!

First, I had to live through exam week. I had reading, papers, exams, work... But now it's done. I have my final grades and I'm ready for vacation.

My mom came down to Norfolk last Friday to pick me up. I have more vacation than Jube does, so I decided that she could take me to spend this week in Northern Virginia with my family. Jube is still in Norfolk.

On Friday we took Mom to the Pagoda restaurant for dinner. When it came time to pay, she realized she had forgotten her purse. No problem, I can pay, right? Well, since I had recently made a purchase in the UK with my credit card (remember those 12 hours in London? I have to buy things like tube passes), my card company blocked it. I usually only carry around one credit card, in case my wallet is stolen. It didn't work out for me that night!

Jube pulled out his credit card to pay, but unfortunately it is the same account. Which was blocked, remember? So I figured I would walk a couple of blocks to an ATM where I would withdraw the money. However, since I was so frazzled from the credit card fiasco, I couldn't remember the correct PIN for my card! I entered the PIN from the card I used throughout college, Spain, and France. I lost my new ATM card in the machine. So we had no way to pay for dinner!

Let me recommend the Pagoda Teahouse. The ambiance is amazing, the food is inexpensive, and the waiters let you leave without paying if you promise to come back the next day with your *working* credit card.

I was expecting a relaxing week at home, but I caught a cold, so I've been spending my "extra" week of vacation sticking q-tips up my nose (it's supposed to get you over your cold faster... I'm waiting!), popping pills, and reading. I really hope to be over my cold by the time I get on the plane Saturday.

Vacation, I'm still waiting!

First Lesson: Gender!

Jube recently volunteered to teach a community education course at a nearby school: Introduction to French Culture and Language. He was in for a bit of a shock when he read the course description...

"If you want to learn about France and its language, what better person to learn from than Jube? She is a native of France, educated at Universite Montpellier III in the south of France, and she has worked at several middle and high schools in France as an English teacher. Her informative course will cover beginning French for travelers/tourists, a discussion of contemporary French culture, and analysis of French stereotypes."

"One of my coworkers pointed it out to me," he said. "I guess the first thing I do will be to make sure they know I'm the teacher! Actually, maybe I could get you to teach the class... they'll never know the difference!"

Over the river and through the woods...

We're off! It's more like "over the Hampton Roads Bridge-Tunnel and North on 17," but we're going to my parents' house for Thanksgiving. The past few weeks have been pretty intense, so a little holiday will be great.

Have a wonderful week!

Détrompez-vous!

Le Pacha just called to talk to me about visiting the US next summer.

Le Pacha: "I'll be on vacation, and I'll bring my friend Manou! I told him that he could see some hot girls in the States."

Me: "Oh really!"

Le Pacha: "Yeah, that's right! Everyone thinks that the girls in the US are fat because they eat at McDonald's all the time. But there are skinny girls, for sure!"

Me: "And you tell your friends?"

Le Pacha: "Yeah, I tell all of them, 'Open your eyes, guys! [Détrompez-vous!] I went to America and there are definitely skinny girls there!' I show them pictures, and they all say, 'Well, they must not eat at MacDo.' I even tell them about your brother's girlfriend, that she's vegan or vegetarian, I don't know which, but that she definitely doesn't eat there."

Me: "You know she isn't vegan anymore, she eats cheese and eggs."

Le Pacha: "That must be because she visited France and tried all the good cheese!"

Me: "Yeah, that must be it. And what do you say about your belle-soeur, do you say she's fat because she eats at MacDo?"

Le Pacha: "No, you're skinny! But I can't tell my friends that you're hot, you're my sister now!"

Me: "Okay. You can come visit us in the US."

I Love Labor Day

This weekend has been really great. I've been eagerly awaiting a vacation and I was able to ignore school and work for awhile.

On Saturday, Jube and I biked from our apartment to downtown Norfolk, where we caught the ferry to Portsmouth.

It only costs a dollar each way. In Portsmouth, there was a Labor Day Sidewalk Sale, but it wasn't very interesting. I bought some stationery and we enjoyed walking around Old Towne Portsmouth a little bit.
After our return trip, we visited the Pagoda Tea House and Restaurant for a drink before biking back home. The inside was as nice as the outside. We had our drinks on the second floor of the Pagoda and were able to take some pictures outside on the balcony.
In the Pagoda, we were seated next to a table with a couple at it. They were really amazing, drinking 3 bottles of sake, two strawberry daiquiris and two beers between them in the time it took Jube and I to finish our tea and Diet Coke (though Jube did get a refill). By the time they got up and went outside to take their own photos, we were surprised they could even walk straight.

After we biked back to our apartment, Jube said, "I've had a great day, really relaxing." I was surprised--biking 7 miles isn't exactly relaxing in my book. It was definitely fun, though!

On Sunday we went to the Zoo again, where we were treated to a prairie dog fight, a spider monkey fight, and a Pavlovian chorus of pigs squealing to be fed. Le Pacha happened to call as we were walking by the pigs, and to prove that we were at the Zoo, Jube put the phone up to their noses.

"Tu vois, c'est un cochon!" Jube said. (See, it's a pig!)

"Non, je crois pas. C'est Gem qui fait le bruit," le Pacha answered. (I don't believe it. It's Gem making the noise.)

Pattern?

Have you noticed a pattern? Whenever I start a new job, I stop posting for awhile. I've been super busy at my new boulot, and I've taken it out on my blog, I know, I know! I was planning on having another BB guest post, but he has decided to postpone his trip because of my busy-ness at work. And Jube starts his new job next week, so we're off to a new year!

So what's new besides work? Nothing much. I've been doing a lot of reading... Since Digging to America I've read The Telling, The Road, and Le Petit Prince. Fun.

Oh! And followup to my battles with the magazine company... We finally received a refund for our Maxim mixup! I was very happy to get a check in the mail.

I'm sure interesting things have been happening to me, but I can't think of any at the moment. Umm...

We saw Rush Hour III last weekend. I love Jackie Chan, but Jube was a little bit annoyed at the "anti-French propaganda." It was not the best movie in the world, but I found it entertaining. We went on opening night, to a sold-out theater, and everyone laughed and enjoyed themselves.

Then on Sunday we saw Sicko. Wow, what a movie to make you nostalgic for France! I was just thinking about calling the Student Health Center to renew my prescription, and seeing Sicko made me long for the days when I could go to the pharmacy and get it for free (6 Euro up front which was reimbursed to my account later).

Okay, that is enough for tonight. Hopefully I'll have a real post for you soon.

Centre Ville

Last weekend Jube had to work all day on Saturday, so Sunday I had decided we would get out of the house together. When the day finally arrived, however, I found myself in a little bit of a depressed mood and couldn't think of anything fun to do. I had taken a shower so I didn't want to go to the beach and get sandy; I didn't want to go hiking because then I would get sweaty! After a few minutes (or hours?) of moaning I finally decreed that we would check out "those cool houses we see from Brambleton when we go downtown" and afterwards head to the mall.

It turned out to be a great choice, because we were able to explore Norfolk a little bit more and revise our opinions of the town's aesthetics. The nice houses turned out to be in Norfolk's Ghent Historical District, one of the oldest and nicest parts of the city, just across a canal from downtown.



Many of the houses here have towers, and combined with the old trees, this gave the neighborhood a unique look. We even took a picture of this house for sale to send to Jube's parents telling them that we were going to buy it!



After walking around Ghent we weren't ready to go to the mall, so we went to the Freemason District to look at the townhouses there. The city has kept the original cobblestones on part of Freemason Street and some intersecting streets. The neighborhood is near the harbor and has some really interesting sections, so it was fun to check out. Jube even said that he (finally!) felt like he was in a foreign country!

Here is a picture of a Chinese restaurant. It actually belongs to the city and is in the center of a municipal park. The building was a gift from the government of Taiwan. In the background you can see the stern of the USS Wisconsin.



Then we walked to the mall and took a turn around. When we left, there was quite a lot of thunder and it started to rain heavily. Luckily we made it to the car before it began, and we were treated to an evening show of lightning. All in all it was a great day.

Beurk!

When I first learned French, I cracked everyone up with my Spanish-influenced gaffes. For example, instead of ca me fait peur*, I said ca me donne peur*. Another "hilarious" (to them, not to me) mistake was Tu me fais vomiter** instead of vomir**. I soon learned the right thing to say and instead started making people laugh at how shocking my language was.

For some reason, Jube and I were talking about all the different ways to say "vomit" in English. We have so many wonderful words, like throw up, puke, up-chuck, hurl, retch, heave... and each one is beautifully descriptive of a specific way we regurgitate our food. Jube then taught me gerber, which is a particularly nasty way of saying vomir (or vomit). Since French is not my native language, I had no qualms about using it in front of others, until one day I expressed myself in front of the wrong problem. Poor Belle-maman! She has to put up with three sons who are generally less than delicate at the dinner table and a daughter-in-law who didn't hesitate to say that she dislikes some foods because ca fait gerber. It didn't take me long to stop bandying the word around for the laughter it produced...

Back in the US, I was walking down the baby aisle in the local grocery store and was surprised to rediscover the best-selling baby food brand:

The baby does kind of look like it has a little gift for you, doesn't he? And of course it looks very similar to the French meaning when you open it up and look inside...

*That gives me scared instead of that makes me scared (loosely translated, of course)
*You make me vomitit instead of you make me vomit (yeah, that's a really loose translation)

Consume Consume Consume!

This weekend was a busy one, and now it's exam week... so I'll try to update as quickly and as thoroughly as possible!

Last Saturday Jube, Kilmer & I drove out to Chesapeake to look at a used car we found on Craig's List. It was just as good a deal as we'd thought, so we decided to buy it! Yes, we have been living in the US without a car for six months, and it is SUBHUMAN. (Actually it's not subhuman, we've been doing fine and saving lots of money on gas, but now Jube has to get a job and a car is required...)

We drove out to find a notary, but unfortunately it was after noon and all of the banks were closed. I pulled out my checkbook to give the first owner a deposit only to find that I had no checks left--just some duplicates and deposit slips that had fooled me into thinking there was something underneath. I guess it's a good thing that we hadn't found a notary after all. We made arrangements to meet on Monday for the car instead.

Then we drove back to Norfolk where Jube took advantage of our having transportation to cast his vote for President of the Republic. I can't tell you who he voted for because it is a SECRET BALLOT!, but I will tell you that the-person-who-shall-not-be-named didn't make it into the runoff election. And it wasn't Le Pen.

On Sunday I went to Taste of India, a celebration of Indian culture, with some Indian neighbors. They even lent me some clothes so I could go in "Indian dress." I ate great food, saw a Bhangra competition, and even made some new friends. Here I am in character:


The next day we got our car! Yay! Here is a picture of it for everyone to drool over:

Monday was awesome!!! Not only did we get our car, Jube received word that his temporary green card had been printed--and on his way to 7-11 to buy celebratory ice cream, he noticed this really cool entertainment center by the dumpster. And it had a rug on it. We dragged them up to our apartment, where they make a great addition to our decor. Yes, Robin, I've been converted to Dumpster Diving!

And now I feel really guilty that I haven't started any of my final papers yet, so I've got to go. 1st year of grad school is almost over!!!!

Colonial Times

Last week two of Jube's friends came to visit from Ohio. It's always lots of fun to have friends visit, for a couple of reasons:

First, you get to spend time with your buds! When BB visited us in Nice last year, I got a chance to show off my favorite parts of the city and share everything with one of my bestest friends. This past week we had a great time with some Ohio friends--we'd seen them when we went to Columbus during winter break, but it was fun to have them at our house. We took them to my favorite smoothie place and our favorite seafood place and our favorite Irish pub.

Second, you get to visit parts of your region you'd never seen before. In our case, we went to Colonial Williamsburg. It is a bit pricy to get in ($36 for a day pass) but it was really really fun. We got to hear speeches by George Washington and Benedict Arnold. Our friend Nikos, who is in law school, enjoyed the colonial courthouse, where the guide explained the difference between lots of different crimes and punishments. We also got to see a blacksmith making nails and a military exposition.

The weather was really wonderful, and we were able to fool the Ohio boys into thinking that the weather in Norfolk is balmy year-round. The day after they left the temperatures plunged 30 degrees (from 80 to 50), but they figured that it was just because they had gone back to Ohio.

Nawf'ck

I don't think I'm ready to tackle talking about my trip yet. It was pretty fun, but I am still jetlagged! I've never had such a hard time getting back on US time... usually it is easier for me, but I haven't slept in once since last Sunday. Robin asked me to talk about Norfolk, so I figured I could write a post about my new home. I'll write about my trip to Europe later, although I think that my pictures speak better than I can.

So, Norfolk! First of all, Norfolk isn't quite the American South, but it is close enough to fool the unsuspecting Northerner. On the local news, the anchors speak with the usual "Received American Accent," but when they come to the work "Norfolk," they say Nawf'ck. That is apparently the correct way to pronounce it, and pronouncing the "l" (as one would when saying "folks") will label you as a Northerner. However, Norf'k is also an accepted pronunciation.

Norfolk is part of Hampton Roads, a conglomeration of 7 or 8 cities around where the Chesapeake Bay separates Maryland from Virginia. There are innumerable rivers and inlets and estuaries that separate cities and neighborhoods from each other and make the weather humid and changeable. The seafood is great, but the air sometimes smells marshy, no matter how far away you think you are from the nearest body of water.

Norfolk is also home to the largest naval base in America. That means that the military has a very strong presence in the city. During the recent midterm elections, all of the political commercials focused on what the other side was doing for military families. Shops advertise "free credit for military families!", and you can't go into a bar without overhearing a conversation with (or falling into a conversation with) a member of the military. Old Dominion University provides many services for actively serving military and veterans; several of my colleagues fell into working in higher education after 20 years in the Navy.

What's more, Norfolk is a very diverse city, with no race being in the majority (although Whites come close, with 49.2% of the population). This is partly because of the military presence and partly because Norfolk is close to the South. ODU is a diverse campus as well, in part because it draws most of its students from the region.

Downtown Norfolk isn't a bad place to be. When I visited a year ago, it seemed very industrial and boring, but I have discovered that there is a little harbour with a dock that is charmingly situated near a one-stop-shop kind of restaurant/bar/nightclub building. After Ohio, Norfolk is a new slice of Americana. After France, Norfolk is a typically ugly American town with some nice features.

I will say one thing: arriving back from Europe, looking out the plane window at Norfolk rushing closer, I thought, "How glad I am to be here!" I never thought I would feel so happy to be coming back to Nawf'ck.

Signing In to Sign Off

Hi guys. It's been awhile, hasn't it? It's because I've been swamped with work. Papers, classes, volunteering, and job... it all adds up. And today I'm off to Europe for class!

I should be excited, I know, but I think that Jube's and my years of long-distance relationship have ruined traveling for me. Although I know that I will only be gone for 10 days, I'm still leaving... I must be psychologically scarred, because I've been tense and on the verge of tears all day long. Jube thinks I'm crazy, because

1. It is spring break and I'm headed to Europe!!

2. We will only be apart for 10 days.

3. He's already sick of being married and is ready for me to leave (all right, I made that last one up, he would never say that).

I did file my taxes, though, and I'll be expecting my refund on my return.

Ma Deesse

Valentine's Day was pretty laid back for us this year. I gave Jube a card that said "OOH LA LA!" on it, and he didn't give me anything. I spent the evening writing a paper.

A funny thing happened though... the day before Valentine's, we were teasing each other about the amazing surprises we'd bought. Of course I knew he was only getting a card, but I was hoping for some chocolates or something. When I got back from work that afternoon, there was a phone book lying open on the bed. The page Jube had been consulting was in the "V" section, open to "veterinarians." I thought he might have been thinking about buying me a dog, but that didn't seem plausible.

When I asked him about it, he admitted that he had wanted to buy me something special ever since Christmas vacation. Valentine's had seemed the best day to give it to me, but he hadn't been able to pick it up. He'd spent all morning calling stores to find availability, but there just weren't any!

"What was it?" I demanded.

"Well... I was looking under 'video games,'" he told me. "I saw how much you enjoyed your brother's Nintendo DS, so I wanted to get you one."

The next day I arrived back from work to find that he had biked over 2 hours to Target to get me my little DS. What a nice guy!

Livret

Today Jube and I received our livret de famille in the mail. It looks like a bigger version of my US passport: navy blue with a gold crest on the front. The only downside is that they misspelled my name inside. It seems to be a common mistake for speakers of Latin languages, since they made the same mistake on my Spanish student visa.

Now in only 3 years and 9 months I have the "right to French nationality." However, there were a couple of parts of the contract I was unaware of until we received the livret. First of all, there are les obligations alimentaires. I have to feed Belle-mere and Beau-pere, and Jube has to feed my parents, and they have to feed us too. Fun, eh? But it's okay, I like to cook. Mom, Dad, Belle-maman, Beau-papa: you'll never go hungry again! There are also rules about the surnames we can legally give our children, how soon we have to report their births, and other interesting financial obligations.

I have to say, the livret de famille is much more informative than an American marriage certificate. Now I know exactly what I signed up for...